Her tone in bringing up the feedback was calm, even light. Nothing triggering about it at all.

And yet…

Just the prospect of receiving feedback had me experiencing a sudden wave of stress before I could even put words to it. At the core of my brain my amygdala was preparing for trouble. I was reacting to a threat before I had any real reason to perceive one.

What happened was, we had finished everything we needed to talk about.

It’s that simple. We were done so we stopped.

There have been times when I’ve sat with leaders, teams, and boards and helped them try to discern what rebuilding trust was going to take. How much time, effort, emotion, and outside help was needed to get through the damaged relationships and into a healthier dynamic. It’s almost always more than we first think.

Without this perspective we easily become short term thinkers, overly competitive with our peers, obsessive about our own performance, and vulnerable to our insecurities. We do dumb stuff because we’re more worried about the operations than the outcomes.

There is a risk in using any identity to put ourselves or others in a box (“an introvert could never be a great public speaker”) or to excuse inappropriate behaviour (“I’m not being a jerk I’m just high on the Dominance scale in DISC”).

It’s also advisable to hold any label gently. We are much more than any demographic, diagnosis, or profile. And we, and our surrounding cultures, always have potential to change.

One mark of experienced leaders is the ability to anticipate what comes with their choices. Wisdom tells us that something we like often comes with something less appealing included and we can’t always substitute it. It’s part of the same dish.

Like cleaning out the junk drawer in your desk or kitchen, you won’t actually find yourself with nothing better to do than pick up those tasks that weren’t important to do in the fall, winter, or spring but still felt like they should be on a list somewhere.

If we’re honest we have to admit that all of us are wearing costumes of some sort everyday to portray something about who we are and what matters to us. The corporate office blazer isn’t much different from the bright yellow Pikachu costume.

If you want a healthy board-staff dynamic one of the easiest things you can do to improve things is just show up.

They felt that their personal integrity was being compromised by being associated with a leader who seemed to have abandoned the core values of the organization in pursuit of something they couldn’t support. But they still believed that the actual work they were involved in was good and impacting vulnerable people in significant ways.

It was a real problem.

This isn’t meant to be a political statement, but a practical one. As charity leaders in Canada we need to learn from the past and recognize the current reality; relying on the USA for programs, partners, or supporters was never a sure thing and it’s probably getting more difficult.

Many years ago I had a boss who could be very impulsive. I never went into a meeting fully confident that I could predict how it would turn out.

In someways I guess that kept me on my toes, which I think they liked.

But it also made it difficult for me to think long term after a few instances of plans that I thought were clearly agreed upon being jettisoned with no notice, sometimes without due consideration for the effects that would follow.

Loyalty to religious institutions, pop culture heroes, and most of all, to political parties and leaders is in turmoil. Typically, as this happens some see it as a betrayal and demand greater loyalty; the loudest leave last. But giving up part of our identities is a real experience of loss. It isn’t (and often shouldn’t be) easy.

When I look at the way some entities have become so dramatically disconnected from their roots and replaced principled values with cult-like devotion to charismatic leaders I wonder what kind of off-ramps need to be built.

When I reflect back on 2024, the third year since Lead With Catalyst was launched as my own business as a spin off from Catalyst Foundation, some of the statistics definitely help tell the story. I worked with hundreds of leaders across more than three dozen charities. And I saw some remarkable impact.

The danger of a mandate is that it can become the identity and personality of an organization when it should be seen and treated as a temporary priority.

Too often I’ve seen organizations hang on too long to mandates that have outlived their effectiveness.

We are in a season where prominent corporations are ending their DEI programs and some people are getting lots of attention by decrying the very idea of promoting Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. And that’s a shame.

I work with leaders and organizations often as they define their Vision, Mission, and Values (or Dream/Path/Promise) and set their strategic priorities for years to come. I help them clarify their cause and communicate their Reason. I am drawn to those with bold aspiration.

But in my own work I’m not nearly so ambitious.

Organizational Arrogance happens when we are too short on self-doubt. (Of course, as with individuals, arrogance is usually just an avoidance of dealing with our experience of insecurity). When we believe we are so right that we are invulnerable, impenetrable, and beyond question.

This is a risk after a period of sustained success, when we start to believe we have things fully figured out and our approach is appearing rock solid.

Every organization needs some degree of insecurity to avoid becoming complacent. Improvement starts with dissatisfaction. But when it becomes a part of our shared personality it becomes a distraction that prevents us from doing what matters most.

There often is a lot going on when leaders start talking through issues that matter. Trying to keep it in focus, keep everyone engaged, give all a chance to contribute in their own way, and ensure we actually get where we need to go without forcing any predetermined outcome is a lot to manage.

I love it!