The Cost of Broken Trust

“You can’t lead people if they don’t trust you”.

Saying these words to a leader is always a tough moment.

It’s happened a few times over the years. Sometimes it happens after a major failing, a screw up so drastic there’s really no way back. Those suck, but they’re relatively straightforward.

But it also happens when a combination of factors: organizational stress, team dynamics, personal insecurity, poor communication etc. pile up to put a leader in the position where their mistake itself isn’t grounds for dismissal, but the trust with their team is seriously damaged.

The leader may not be fully, or even primarily, at fault. It may be that some dysfunction in the community or among the staff is amplifying things beyond what is necessary. A lesser error may have just struck exactly the wrong nerve at exactly the wrong moment, but trust is broken.

Trust is the currency of leadership. I work often with leaders and teams to build (and rebuild) trust in both character and competence. I believe deeply that in most cases it is possible to restore trust if there is humility and goodwill on all sides. It can be hard, hard work; but it can be done.

But sometimes it may not be worth it.

There have been times when I’ve sat with leaders, teams, and boards and helped them try to discern what rebuilding trust was going to take. How much time, effort, emotion, and outside help was needed to get through the damaged relationships and into a healthier dynamic. It’s almost always more than we first think.

The idealist in me wants to encourage that investment every time. At the core of my faith and my values is the belief in reconciliation. I want harmony restored.

That comes into tension with my pragmatism that has to calculate the cost of the process relative to the benefit it brings.

Everyone involved has to do that math for themselves and consider whether they are willing and able to engage a process that has to happen alongside the regular work of the organization. And it can’t work unless everyone does so sincerely.

I have been overjoyed to see some examples of success in these situations. When genuine accountability happens and relationships recover things can be stronger than ever. It’s literally wonderful.

And in other cases the bittersweet decision is for someone to step away because the costs are just too high. It’s often unsatisfying, but it may be the best option.

If you or your team are facing some damaged trust take some time to consider what it will take to set things right. And if I can help you or point you to someone who can I’d be honoured to walk this hard road with you.