Timeline of Broken Trust

“Gradually, then suddenly.” - Ernest Hemingway describing how a character went bankrupt in The Sun Also Rises.

This also describes the way I’ve seen leaders lose the trust of their people.

Quite often when I talk to someone whose people seem to have turned against them they are confused about what happened. They tell me about a couple recent issues or incidents where they can see some fault on their part, but they can’t see how that makes it so bad. And if it leads to a dismissal they are hurt and bewildered about the reason.

It’s rarely a single decisive failure.

Almost every time it’s an accumulation of smaller errors, misunderstandings, or disagreements that culminate in a situations where the cost of rebuilding trust is too high. That’s a hard thing to explain to someone who has sincerely been trying their best.

Like so many things in life, the final straw isn’t the biggest.

What this means is that leaders need to be consistently attentive to the quality of their relationships. We need to maintain effective communication and continually do the things that help people understand our difficult decisions. We need to not let frustration pile up or tensions simmer.

Trust is expected to ebb and flow. There are times when you mess up and may not know it. Some decisions can’t be fully explained. And some people seem hardwired to resist authority.

As someone who isn’t skilled with finance, Hemingway’s bankruptcy analogy is a little haunting. I need to be investing properly and checking in on my accounts to prevent a serious problem.

And you may not be able to discern it on your own.

With all the demands of leadership day to day it’s a rare person who can track the deposits and withdrawals of trust with all the people on your team. The regular practices of seeking feedback, truly listening, and investing in organizational culture may not be quite enough.

You need a couple trusted, insightful voices who are deliberately attentive to these dynamics. having someone internal is key, but it can also be important to have someone on the outside; an advisor, consultant, coach, or in some cases a board member, who can hear your perspective and help you see other possible ones. Their probing questions may be uncomfortable but they can help you avoid an unwelcome surprise.

So, how healthy are your trust accounts? And how confident are you that you’re not missing something significant?