We? Oui.
“Is it okay if I say We?”
As long as I can remember I’ve had a driving desire to belong, to be included.
Maybe it’s being the third of four kids, with two older brothers. Maybe it’s being one of the smaller kids in school growing up. Maybe being the last kid cut from the sports team too many times left a mark. Maybe it’s Enneagram 2 stuff…
For much of my high school years I felt like I was welcome to join any table in the cafeteria, but that I didn’t have my own place at any of them. But that could be teenage angst speaking.
Whatever the roots, I became adaptable and skilled at quickly understanding the traits, jargon, and social norms of different groups to find my way to inclusion. It has served me well.
Today, it shows in the way I work with charity leaders and teams. By the time we reach our second session, certainly by the third, I find myself slipping naturally into much of the style and tone of the group. Trust grows quickly and I earn the opportunity to challenge and confront with the sense that I am doing it as someone who is “on our side”, not as an outsider.
I often catch myself using the plural inclusive pronoun: “What I think we’re struggling with here…” and pausing to ask if it’s okay for me to speak as part of the team in that way. The response is always appreciative.
A couple years ago, shortly before Lead With Catalyst became my own business, I was talking with a trusted friend about a full-time role that I’d been asked to consider with a charity I hold in the highest esteem. It seemed like it had been specifically written with me in mind. (I found out later that it somewhat had been).
My wise friend said he agreed that it could be a great fit for me, but he really hoped I wouldn’t apply for it. He said he thought I had more to offer by serving several organizations as a consultant than by serving one in a staff position. He encouraged me to take the riskier path of entrepreneurship and use my insights and experience more broadly. I never wanted to be self-employed, but after careful consideration I let that role pass. The person who took that position is doing an amazing job, far better than I would have.
And I am, mostly, relishing the change to be part of many teams, half a step removed from the staff, able to bring both an outsider’s perspective and an insider’s trust and sensitivity.
If your organization could benefit from leadership investment that feels like it was made with your specific culture, priorities, and people in mind let’s talk about what we can do together. I’d love to be part of the team.
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