The Gift of “Skubalon”

Who’s calling you out on your BS?

I had lunch recently with a leader whose organization and personal platform are rapidly growing. I’ve known him since he was young and been an occasional advisor along the way. It’s been a journey for him, with plenty of challenges and scars, both self-inflicted and otherwise, as well as remarkable successes. He’s accumulated a lot of character to go with with his notable capability.

As we talked about all that’s happened over the years, and what appears to be on the horizon, we shared some excitement about it all.

There was also some fear.

We talked about several examples, too close to both of us, of leaders who made decisions that undermined their credibility and did deep harm to people. In some cases destroying the organizations they had been entrusted to lead. It’s the same old story, even though each one hurts freshly in its own way.

I told my friend that I don’t see any obvious flaws in his character or leadership style that forecast imminent peril. He’s someone who doesn’t hide his weaknesses and isn’t overly impressed with himself. He is aware of the many subtle ways we can slip into patterns that lead us toward catastrophe.

But that’s not enough.

One of my favourite Greek words is “skubalon”. It’s an informal word for animal poop that is often translated in the New Testament as waste or dung. But between you and me I think we can call it bullshit.

Every leader needs some people who are honest and insightful enough to call them on their skubalon. And I would urge that you find some of these people both inside and outside of your organization.

The raw reality is that the people on your team often find it harder to confront you on your character if your leadership is getting good results. They’re too close, too invested, too susceptible to your charisma, and too connected to outcomes to speak up early. By the time most of your team are willing to say something you may have done significant damage. that makes recovery much more difficult.

So yes, commit to building open rapport and broad mutual accountability with your team (I’m a fine of both Crucial Conversations and Fierce Conversations as well as Radical Candor as resources for how to do this and have worked with several leadership teams on how to develop these skills).

But also find, hire, or recruit someone who cares more about you than your organization; who cares about you enough to tell you the truth. Tell them what you think your vulnerabilities are, if you’re aware of them (more on that in another post soon). And schedule regular contact with them where they are expected to ask you direct questions and not let you easily off the hook.

Some people find this works well as a mutual accountability relationship, but in my experience it’s usually better to be one way to avoid any risk of covering up for each other.

The truth is, we are all capable of deceiving ourselves, and other people. No system is foolproof. And if you really want to do something that will hurt you and others you will avoid, evade, or mislead whatever accountability you’ve put in place.

But inviting someone you trust to call out your skubalon is one practical and tangible thing you can do to reduce the risk of going far offtrack.

Some of the leaders I meet with for individual PACE sessions monthly have built enough trust with me that I can do this for them. I take that trust seriously.

So, who’s going to do that for you?

Contact me if I can be helpful to you and/or your organization.

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