Optimist, Not Positive

I thought I was a positive person, but my kids say I’m not…

Earlier this fall, in a conversation with my late-teens, they described me as someone who is optimistic but not positive.

I’ve had to chew on it for a while, and ask them to clarify, but I’ve come around to really liking it.

They basically said that I’m not someone who always looks on the bright side of things. I don’t put a cheerful spin on every situation. And I’m not a relentlessly smiling motivational speaker.

I can be very direct about reality.

But, they said, I’m also someone who genuinely believes there is great potential for things to get better; and that it’s worth working for. However hard things might be right now, we can aspire and influence towards something wonderful.

I think many of my clients have said something similar in their own way.

As a consultant an important part of my role is to help my clients wrestle with reality. That often means being unflinchingly honest and committed to truth, even when it stings. I bring compassion and gentleness to those moments, but I’m determined to deal with things as they are, not just as we wish they were.

To be honest, this is something I’ve had to work on. Early in my career I tended to be too soft because some topics seemed too difficult. I didn’t want to bring up uncomfortable topics. These conversations can be tough and for them to be effective requires trust and vulnerability; and I wasn’t always confident I had the skill to navigate them well. Now I find helping leaders and teams into, and out of, such hard spaces to be among the most meaningful parts of my work.

At the same time, I believe passionately in potential. Leaders and organizations can change, because people can change.

Ensuring practical next steps from every group session or individual leadership PACE call is crucial. There’s no value in providing insights or facilitating excellent conversations if they don’t lead to something real. I don’t want to be just offering good vibes, we’re going to take action.

This is a big part of why I prefer to work in 12 month commitments. That gives us enough time together for me to truly understand your reality, dig into it together, identify what needs to be done, and apply ourselves to improvement that makes sense for your specific situation. Over the course of a year we can cycle through that process several overlapping times.

The charitable sector is struggling these days. The needs are growing rapidly and the resources are only getting harder to find. We need to be honest about the challenges we’re facing. But we also need to continue believing in the beauty and importance of our work, and commit ourselves to doing what we can to bring more hope and healing to a world that needs us, maybe more than ever.

I count it a privilege to spend my days helping people I admire to do their part.