Building (and Burning) Bridges

“Healthy leaders build more bridges than they burn.”

I posted this as a tweet and on Facebook this afternoon.

I believe it’s true, but (as with so many things) it deserves more nuance than a single social media can explore.

There are definitely times when bridges need to be burned.

• When a well intended effort has proven a failure…

• When a team member’s behaviour violates trust beyond even generous hope of restoration…

• When there is a conflict in core values and no common ground to be found…

The problem is that burning bridges has become a sign of leadership strength in some circles. Cutting insults, sharing sarcastic memes, or putting opponents on blast is a path to power in politics, media, and (tragically in my view) even in religion.

Human beings often define themselves by what they oppose and find community through shared enemies. These may tend to be shallow connections, but they are instinctive and highly energized. The danger is that they require constant stoking and ever increasing vitriol to stay together.

You have to be louder, funnier, more vulgar or more outrageous to maintain power.

Frankly, I can’t see much healthy in this type of leadership. It demands a bias for negativity and that has to degrade the leader’s soul and psyche.

Building bridges is harder work. It takes more time and doesn’t generally earn the endorphin rush that burning can bring.

But it is so much better.

Bridge builders leave lasting legacies that can expand beyond their influence and benefit people long after they’ve moved on.

And building bridges also builds a leader’s character.

Wise leaders are able to recognize when a bridge is no longer viable and needs to be burned, and they have the courage to do it when necessary. But their default desire is to look for opportunities to build bridges because they understand that more bridges is what we need if we’re going to find ways to move forward together.