A-holes and Insecurity
Did you hear about the time Will Arnett called Bradley Cooper an A-hole?
On the 100th episode of the Smartless podcast Bradley Cooper shared the story of a time many years ago when his friend (and one of the hosts of the podcast) Will Arnett confronted him for trying to mask his insecurity by “entertaining” people with constant putdowns.
It brought back memories of a couple times when I’ve been challenged for doing the same thing.
(I don’t know if its comforting or despairing to hear a 9 time Oscar nominee, Sexiest Man Alive, and writer, star, and director of A Star Is Born talk with an acclaimed comedic star, producer, and successful voice actor about being in a constant battle with their own insecurities. I guess its nice to find them relatable, but it shatters the illusion that enough success could silence the internal critic that constantly seeks to undermine my confidence.)
As universal as the experience of insecurity is, at least among the leaders I’ve worked with; many of us are very hesitant to acknowledge or deal with it.
At least until someone calls us a jerk, or worse.
The good news is, if we are willing to face it there are things we can do to explore and expose our insecurities. And doing so is far less painful than we fear it will be.
I’ve walked dozens of leaders, alone or in groups, through an approach that helps us understand our own insecurities and take practical steps to reduce the influence they have on our lives and leadership. In several cases we find that our insecurities, once we’ve dealt with them, become seed and soil for some of the most significant things we will ever do.
If that sounds like it might be helpful , let’s talk.
The conversation between Cooper and Arnett was a powerfully moving exchange in what is typically a much less vunerable podcast. It’s worth a listen.
Perhaps it will spare you the need to be called out in extremely direct ways by someone you trust. Or maybe it will encourage you to be the one to call out (or “call in” as some of us are learning to say) someone who really needs it.