A Higher Standard

Tone matters.Whether it's a conversation with my wife, meeting with my boss, correcting my kids, or making a presentation to an audience; the way I communicate is often much more influential than what I'm trying to say.This afternoon I listened in on an exciting webinar presented by Network for Good. It was promoted as a debate between Dan Pallotta, author of the somewhat controversial book Uncharitable, and the leaders of two organizations involved in charity rating, Ken Berger and Bob Ottenhoff. I was eagerly anticipating a lively discussion on what factors donors should be considering when thinking about giving to any organization, maybe even some tension.There was some excellent content. Pallotta's book, which I look forward to reading but haven't yet, raises a bunch of issues with shortsighted behaviour from many donors that limits nonprofits from achieving their purpose. Ottenhoff and Berger both offered significant affirmation of some of Pallotta's work, but challenged some critical aspects of his book in their comments. In many ways it was a stimulating 90 minutes.Sadly, the quality content from all three was, to my listening, overwhelmed by the contentious manner in which hyperbole and sarcasm was employed to discredit. From very early in his presentation it was clear that Ken Berger, whom I'd not heard of before this event, was going to be more than passionate. He was distractingly aggressive towards Dan Pallotta.A transcript of his statement is here, but even the host organization's twitter feed suggested that you had to hear it live to really grasp what was being communicated.I really wish that, in the nonprofit sector at least, we could have serious, challenging dialogue without having to resort to the type of overblown rhetoric that has spoiled intelligent discourse in politics in the USA and increasingly here in Canada.It reminds me of the embarrassing way those in my Christian tribe have so frequently bared our fangs and savaged one another in every matter of theology and practice. Shame on us all.I do plan to go back and review today's webinar, it is worth hearing. I am convinced that any of the presenters would be stimulating in a conversation and have something of value to offer the sector. It seems to me that Dan, Bob, and Ken are all committed to raising the standard for both charities and donors. I appreciate the differences of opinion they hold so dearly. My wish is that all of us would learn to engage our differences with less diatribe and more grace.